Escrow Trenches: nutty funding conditions

Recall those episodes where Jerry Seinfeld grits his teeth and in one exasperated and frustrated breadth says, “Neeeewman!”

Similarly, so do title and escrow staff in dealing with lender funding conditions and other challenges that seemingly are for no other purpose but to drive us to the closet for our straight-jackets.

Unfortunately, some conditions cannot be easily met at the moment the request comes over the fax or e-mail.   Some require work that delays closings.  Or, in extreme cases a condition can completely shut down all other transactions you are working on for a couple of hours to work feverishly to meet conditions or do a workaround when parties to a transaction become completely uncooperative.

Here’s a couple funding conditions pulled from our short list posted on our blog:

  • “Prove that the borrowers are not married.” (hmmm)
  • “Slight variance in borrower’s signature from others of the same borrower, need borrower to re-execute documents.”  (can cause escrow people to find a new profession.  Who’s signature is the same after signing an FHA loan package that is 119 pages long and 1.375 inches thick?)
  • “Borrower signed on the line adjacent to the one provided where the name appears.   Please re-execute the document.”  (resulted in a re-sign after tracking down the borrower).

While these are humorous after the fact it also paints a picture of what goes on behind the scenes.   Another thing that creates grins for title and escrow staff:  When there is a “rush” on a request and that request involves the collaboration and cooperation with a government agency.

There is always a first in escrow, always.

I can’t make this stuff up. This happened today.

Agent: “Please send me the HUD when you have it ready.”

Escrow: “Sure, no problem.”

A short time later…..

Agent: “I got your e-mail and I want to know how much my buyer needs to bring to close.”

Escrow: “Did you review the HUD?”

Agent: “Yes, I have it right here, but I want to know how much my buyer needs to bring to close?”

Escrow: dead silence….a moment goes by, then…”It’s on the HUD.”

Agent: “But, I want to hear you say it.”

Love thy Neighbor

Here’s a humorous story that came through my inbox. I usually have very low expectations for forwarded jokes and other crap people send me, but the punchline on this one had me roaring, and literally, laughing out loud.

A city councilman, Mark Easton, lives in a Utah neighborhood. He had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor purchased the lot below his house and built. Apparently, the new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the city to make sure they enforced the lower roof line ordinance. Mark and his new neighbor had some great arguments about this as you can imagine – not great feelings. The new neighbor had to drop the roof line – no doubt at great expense.Recently, Mark Easton called the city and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home. Mark didn’t like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate. When they went to Mark’s home to see the vent view, this is what they found…

After reading this, I honestly thought this story apocryphal. I am always skeptical of these stories, and immediately researched the validity of this story. It’s true! Here are a few links to learn more about it. From Snopes, the Urban Legend Site and on a blog, a local news video of the controversy.

Sharing the spam – Is Zillow going to China?

[photopress:spam.jpg,full,alignright]I got an interesting piece of investor spam yesterday. This one was so interesting, I figured I share it and give somebody a good laugh or chuckle. Apparently they are talking up a company in China that has “pilfered every costly lesson learned by Rich Barton and pals… plus every breakthrough technology Microsoft gladly spent $100 million to develop their own business with optimized Rich Barton’s billion-dollar baby.”

I had lunch with some of the folks from Zillow today. Even though they know Rich Barton better than I do, they didn’t even know about this opprotunity! They also said, they wanted in on the action… 🙂

Anyway, here’s my spam for your reading enjoyment…

Rich Barton Spam

And if you figure out what exactly they’re talking about, let me know. 😉